R&B Returns

If you haven't listened to Trey Songz, or never really rocked with him for whatever reason, all of that should change. Yesterday he released his mixtape Anticipation, a prelude to his album due out sometime in August 2009 titled Ready. I'm not quite saying that Chris Brown is over with but, Trey is about to kill it for those looking for that real bedtime R&B.

Click the title of this entry to download the mixtape and check his blog here.

The Resurgence of Our Race

As I've grown up being Black, I've noticed a lot of trends in our community. One of the startling trends is the amount of fatherless homes. We have all seen it, and it manifests itself in different ways. When I say home, I am more specifically referring to the maintenance of an active and healthy relationship with a child. Sometimes people can't work things out, and parents don't stay together and there are a lot of men who accept that responsibility to remain in their child's lives although they are not actively in the "home". Still, there is an overwhelming amount of cases where men maintain no relationship with their children at all. The effects of these circumstances can be devastating to a child's life, and though this problem pertains to all races, right now I must speak to my Black people.

On my street, I see several cases of Black women raising more than 5 children, all on their own. None of the men are around to help provide the example, guidance, and discipline that could so greatly benefit the young children growing up in these households. Sometimes these men lacked male examples in their own lives and in turn are unequipped, and therefore unable to provide the type of presence needed in the foundations of our communities. Other times, men have chosen to refrain from simply accepting responsibility for their choices.

The effect this problem has on our women is truly devastating. Too many Black women are being forced to play Mom and Dad, while juggling jobs, mortgages, and their own stresses in life. I won't say they need rescuing, but they need assistance. The crime rates in our community overwhelmingly correlate to young men who have not been actively raised by both parents - most often only by woman - and thus lacked an example of what it means to be a man. Too many of our young men are growing up not respecting our women, themselves and others - leaving school, selling drugs, exhibiting an absence of respect for authority figures. Too many of our young women are growing up not having the confidence and foundation that a father could provide, that could help them to better deal with many of the issues they will face in their lifetimes pertaining to the opposite sex. Neither a man nor a woman can do a job intended for the other. The time to begin setting a proper example of living for our children's generation is now.

Moreover, the point of this entry is not to bash those who have failed, nor to ignore those who have succeeded. The point is to call all Black Men who are aware of these cases to make a change when it's their turn. Provide your child with an example that exudes responsibility, leadership, love and kindness, and respect for the law, others - especially our women - and themselves. To the generation of Black Men who are aware of this problem, be willing to address it. We need to more effectively take control of a problem that we have the means to mend. We can do this by embracing responsibility of fatherhood, becoming more effective leaders in our homes, being more open to communication with each other and our women, and actively working towards establishing a lifestyle of selflessness. It won't be easy, but it's absolutely necessary. The reputation and existence of our race depends on it.

Relevant Statistical Data:
http://www.blackdemographics.com/ **US Census Bureau 2005-2007 American Community Survey**
http://www.photius.com/feminocracy/facts_on_fatherless_kids.html

The Natural Dilemma

I have given a lot of thought to Weave Posts 1 and 2. After hearing some of the poignant - and classless - responses to the blog entries, I have a few things to say.

I failed to highlight the fact that, there are women who just want to add to their Beauty, or in other cases, their "beauty". There is nothing wrong with a woman trying to look her best. I can dig that. I definitely could have mentioned that 'there are females without weave with hair looking a mess, and there are females with natural "looks" that don't get any love' because that is definitely a truthful statement.


On the other hand, my job is to give the male perspective...so I will. You don't need to agree though, don't worry. I think it's important for women to know that Men prefer natural looking Women. Meaning, the more done up you are, the less inclined we are to have a "natural" sense of attraction off the bat. I'm not talking about weave here - or extensions for the white women - I'm referring to overall appearance: makeup, nails, eye liner, etc. And ladies, a lot of you be on your Independent Woman shit and you are trying to look good for you, but let's not act like you don't like getting attention from Men and don't put some thought into your presentation so you can maximize that attention. Not all of you are looking your best just for you. Some of you look your "best" for yourselves, Men, AND other females...

Unfortunately, Media adds a lot to the problem. The women they market in all the ads, movies, magazines and newspapers, and the products matched with them are causing a global sense of dependency on beautification products that transcends race and gender. Media is desensitizing men, and the standard of beauty SOME of us seek is being skewed by the bullshit they put in front of our faces.

I have had experiences with women, some with and others without hair extensions, and it's all about how the individual female chooses to carry herself and her appearance. I wouldn't count a girl out just for having extensions. I can't help to note though, it is puzzling to a Man to see a Woman with added beautification of any sort if she doesn't seem to need it. Granted, who am I to say you need it or not.

Truthfully though, some Women do need to realize that however you may feel, your feelings do not always represent the feelings of your gender as a whole. And though this is a sensitive subject, these posts have garnered many haters but even more supporters - a lot of whom have Weave themselves.


I would like to thank all the Women that responded to the posts, whether you did it with tact or not. All perspectives were appreciated.