Needs, Wants, and Desires.

Needs:

I need clarity, honesty, truthfulness, reality, maybe even trust. I need the path to be made known to me. I need to attain the girl of my dreams. I need to find the authenticity in life. I need to understand institutional flirting. I need to be a better man. I need to know what a real man is. I need to not be influenced by those who influence me. I need to be sharper than I've ever been. I need to get this beauty out of my head. I need to stop chasing things I can't have.

Wants:

I mostly want things I can't have. I want things that take time. I want patience to unmarry virtue. I want to relive most of my life. I want to make changes that will benefit lives. I want to discover my destiny. I want to be selfless. I want a fleet of Audis. I want her - still. I want many of them - always. I want to not want all of them. I want to be freed from emotional bondage. I want to be able to put skepticism aside. I want to trade in some of my thoughts for some of yours.

Desires:

I desire #1. I desire peace, tranquility, rest, iced tea, a second chance times a dozen. I desire the ability to not remember every significant - or rather insignificant - emotional interaction and/or disturbance I've ever had in my life dating back to age 4. I desire status from the status quo. I desire a cure from my previous statement. I desire acknowledged purpose. I desire a Tuesday through Friday work week. I desire more than I have. I desire more wisdom and awareness of self. I desire some things I can't mention in this sentence. I desire a better way to end this post.

"Motion" - New Music

Greetings. This post is about a very personal piece of music that I have released to the world today. It represents some of my most favorite musical styles, sounds, and personal ideas. Additionally, I would like to note that this record symbolizes a personal battle that I have won. It was a battle of self-discovery, self-reliance, confidence, and faith. I hope that everyone finds a piece of this Groove to attach to, so that it's sound can travel farther than I ever imagined. Share with friends if you enjoy!

Summer Social Commentary

Greetings. I have a lot to say to let's get to it. This post is about to be real raw. I am so torn about how I feel about my life at this moment, it's ridiculous. This is the most discombobulated I have been ever. I have been blessed with what sometimes feels like a curse: a powerful memory. I remember everything. I remember every time I've been slighted, disrespected, ignored, made fun of, not taken seriously - everything. If you are reading and you know me, and you think I'm kidding - try me. As of late, I have been getting treated like crap by some people who I thought had my back.

Before I continue, I want it to be known that I am not perfect, and I am guilty of being an asshole on plenty of occasions, and certainly I have dropped the ball more than one time. Nonetheless, it's truly impressive to me that these people in question, are people who have come out of their mouth and stated that they always wanted me in their life because of the value I added. This is a value I may not have seen in myself, but value that can benefit the lives of others regardless. I am usually happy to oblige such requests as long as I don't feel like I'm being taken advantaged of.

However, I've learned as my twenties have progressed, that people honestly deep down don't care about anyone or anything except themselves and how they feel in the moment. Living in the moment is the greatest weakness of humanity. You know we live in a society now where people say "you only live once" and things like that. That is obviously true. However, this living in the moment thing has pros and cons. People are so quick to act on their feelings that they ignore the facts about a situation. The fact is, that feelings are not facts. And if someone adds priceless value to your life, how can you be so quick to judge them when the wind blows in the other direction? How you feel, does not make a difference to those around you. And those who claim the contrary prove my point further, as they are living in the moment, and will soon forget those words at their earliest convenience.

See, don't be an asshole to me and then expect me to forget. I won't. Don't whine to me about the things I do, and then act brand new if I bring one of my concerns up at a later time. It is truly AMAZING to me how evident the putridness of human nature has become since my big 21. Don't get me wrong, humans have been compromised since the Garden of Eden, I just didn't have the awareness until about 3 years ago. Every single day I encounter situations and circumstances that actually leave me flabbergasted, wondering how people can be so caught up in their own la-la land and can change things up on you in an instant. One minute I am high on the list, the next I am not even given the courtesy of a response to a text or a phone call.

I will remember these things. I like to believe that this social tribulation in life is a direct result of the greatness that is to come for me. Being back home in New Haven was supposed to be a joy post Wesleyan. It has turned into a burden. My only real desire is to be taken seriously and it seems like those who have known me the longest and the most intimately, are those most resistant to honor that request. Shameful, because long after you have forgotten, and the cyclical time clock brings you back around and interested in my friendship once again, I'll be forced to review the film and re-evaluate from scratch. It's unfortunate for others that they live in the moment and aren't thinking about the truth of the matter, which is what you do to me today will effect how I will treat you tomorrow. And when you bring this up, people are quick to say, "Why are you still holding on to that? That was so long ago. That doesn't matter anymore - stop being bitter", etc... Save it. The asshole in me is by request only - never volunteered.

Showing up for friendship camp when it's convenient for you, after showing your ass and all of its colors, is not an option. If someone's friendship if valuable to you, make sure you show them and not just tell them. Because words are the very thread by which lies are sewn together. Until next time...

New Music for the Ages

Greetings everyone. It is time to update the world on my life. I have still been dealing with procrastination, but I am no longer engaged in a battle. Slowly but surely my ability to manage my time better has increased exponentially, but make no mistake its probably the hardest thing I've done in my life. I have been very busy trying to put all of these businesses together, and my biggest focus at the moment is Black Case Recordings.

See, I want nothing more than to make music, my day job, and I am in the production phase of that journey. I am doing my best to put out good music, consistently enough to keep people wanting more, but not to the point where people get annoyed of my sound. Running a record label with a very loose business model to follow might be dangerous, but it is also fun, because successes and failures reside in every new opportunity. I do my best to promo the records in the marketplace before they drop, and every time I've put out music, I have received an increase in listens, and downloads. That is all a man can really hope for at this point. This struggle is exhausting and sometimes very discouraging, but fully rewarding in the fact that I know, one day, it will all be worth it. I only wish that I had some guideline to follow on the timing by which I should release this music. Of course, this is the "New Music Industry" though, so such a guideline might not only be outdated, but essentially useless.

As you may know, I released a song on Valentine's Day 2012 called "Can't Get Enough" featuring vocals from the lovely Janay Sylvester and production from Deadmau5 and Kaskade, taken from their song called "I Remember". I decided to make an EP of remixes from this record, and my previous release "Test Me", and release them all together at some point this Summer. To promote for that release, today I have dropped the Antmaestro Edit of "Can't Get Enough" featuring the original vocals. This new mix is completely revamped with a Dance/Pop/House feel. There will be an extended Dance Edit sent out to various DJs around the world. This version of the song, really brings the vocals and integrity of the record to the next level. If you know me well, you know that I am ALWAYS trying to get to the next level. But what else is new? Complacency is the enemy of success.

Anyway, this is "evanRevealed x Janay - Can't Get Enough (Antmaestro Edit)". And we are making a run for the upcoming FIFA 13 Soundtrack! Please comment and share with all your friends if you like it. Enjoy!

Download this song here.

A Man Battling With Procrastination

Greetings all. It has been quite some time since I posted. I suppose that's obvious though and unnecessarily stated. I have been a bit resistant to writing any blog posts recently, and I am not sure why. Perhaps it is because I am overwhelmed with the tasks set in front of me, and I would rather allow myself not to act, then to face certain difficulty by trying to accomplish all of these things on my own. These things are mostly the entrepreneurial efforts that I have involved myself in which include but are not limited to: a record label [Black Case Recordings], a non-profit scholarship fund [Imagine You Scholarship Fund], editor of a blog [www.musionology.com], and some other things that will remain unnamed...nonetheless, things get stressful. I view this time in my life as a part of my growth process, though I suppose all of our lives are spent in some sort of a growth process. Heading into my mid-twenties certainly will be no different. My biggest goal in 2012 was to be more efficient, and to complete tasks as I set them. Procrastination is a killer, literally, of all things good and decent in our world. The human condition is such that we can feel sorry for ourselves if things do not happen in our time frame, or in this case, if the time frame is within our control but the required effort will use energy that we'd like to invest elsewhere. For example, today is Thursday - on Thursdays I play Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 3. It would be my hope to play the game until I rack up at least 500 kills. Unfortunately, playing COD for 6 hours is absurd and a waste of time. Instead I spent the day being productive, cleaning my room, sending overdue e-mail correspondence, and generally tasking myself to complete a fairly significant laundry list of items that could have been done 6 days ago. Interestingly, my biggest "supposed" consumer of energy (not quite true since energy can be neither created nor destroyed, only transferred) is the music. I wanted to run a label full-time, and I got my wish! But damn! Can a dude get a staff? I've been trying to find an intern, but it takes a really dedicated individual to prioritize responsibilities that they can neither see, nor interact with on a daily basis. Needless to say, the potential interns from NYC and ATL did not work out, though I learned many valuable lessons in both of those interactions. I am beginning to ramble so I am going to wrap it up. Basically, if you take a risk, be ok with the risk. Purpose to maximize the return on your investment, and stick to your plan to make it happen as quickly as possible. Why are we all waiting? Maybe the road less traveled is difficult, but it is certainly less crowded when success crosses your path - so be ready.