My mother just told me that I am afraid to fail, and she might be right, but I can't put my finger on it. I don't know what I want with my life, and that statement might provide some insight as to why. Taking a leap of faith for your dreams is a bit unnerving. What would I do for my dreams? What won't I do for my dreams? How can I take the leap, without leaving myself completely out to dry? Or, is being left out to dry the only way to take a leap of faith?
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I started that entry on June 22, and then stopped because I didn't know what else to say. It is now July 4, and what I do know a few weeks later, is that I am afraid to make decisions. Decisions are the fabric of our lives. We hide from them, rush them, regret them, cherish them. As we get older, we hopefully get better at them. Truthfully I am terrified of them, because I fear failure. I have big goals, and the thought of me fumbling opportunities like I have in the past, keeps me from fulfilling the dreams that I have for my future. Though I acknowledge this issue, facing and changing it effectively and permanently is far more challenging than I hoped it would be.
I encourage those of you who are faced with life changing decisions to take your time making them, but do not become frozen by fear. Fear is a paralyzing lie that will trick you into pursuing nothing. Fear also leads to excuses. Some of you know that "excuses are tools of incompetence used to build monuments of nothing." There is great truth in that statement. Unless you want to acknowledge that right at this moment, as you read this blog, that you want your life to be a monument of nothing, then you must embrace decision making in all forms. Appreciate the ability to have a say over what you do and where you go, as opposed to these decisions being made for you. It is a great privilege to have freedom of choice, it is one we must not take for granted, and one that we must not run from. Our purpose is embedded in the decisions we make, so make them wisely.
