As I begin this post, I'm not exactly sure what I want to say, or how I want to say it for that matter. Still, I feel the urge to put down some words in regards to how my life has me feeling at this moment. Every day I realize more and more that I am imperfect and it kills me. Being a perfectionist is an impossible task when you exist in a world built upon imperfections. We wander through life trying to find sustaining value that will keep our heads up high when we want to lower them in shame, and sometimes the sources of clarity and peace that we gravitate towards can simply be mirages of hope that will be snatched away when things are at their toughest.
It's so hard to trust when it seems that when you are at your worst, people want to vanish from your side - when in fact it should be those that claim to Love you that want to see you all the way through the process of really overcoming the difficulties and discomfort that affect our lives in ways that only as individuals can we understand. To Love is not to be around when people are at their best: Love is the act of unconditional sacrifice. You should never use the word until you know what it really means. Those who are distrusting of the inconstant world in which we live, will never learn to trust or Love if they expect everything to be perfect, and then run when the realities of life's imperfect nature, and Love's uncertain character, is revealed to them.
We don't have many chances to Love - truly Love - in our lifetimes. We can't be so quick to pass up opportunities to experience one of the greatest pleasures life can offer a human being, nor can we be so quick to withdraw when those we have claimed to Love have hurt us simply out of their own fear and insecurity about Love and life. I'm not talking about cheating, simply about insecurities and improvements of self. One should be the sustaining force that heals that fear, and quells that insecurity, thereby strengthening the bond that has been set in place until it is fortified and unmovable. If one ever thought true Love would be easy then there may need to be further clarification; likewise, to a certain point one must be willing to objectively adjust their state of mind to understand the shortcomings of those who are closest to them, and not retreat for their own sake - since this will void the claims of Love and commitment that was once claimed to be given and shared.
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